Featured Article: No Mom Alone

Featured Article: No Mom Alone by Fia S.

After I committed to speak at my final Indian Creek MOPS meeting – it was also decided that I would write an article for the newsletter.  (How do I get myself into these things??) 

God didn’t create us to be alone at this time in our lives.  Motherhood is NOT a one-woman show.  Motherhood is a team effort.

These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good and be submissive to their husbands.  Then, they will not bring shame on the word of God. 

                                                                                    Titus 2:4-5

Satan has us believing the lie that we don’t need the help of other women and he is gleeful at the misery we suffer when we can’t succeed on our own.

So – in keeping with my final speech – I went on a search to find ways how we Moms can build connections with other women in our lives. 

I started out with Google.  Needless to say – I was a bit apprehensive about putting in search terms such as “women connecting with women”.  So I did a quick Google search for “moms making friends”. WOW!   I quickly learned that I’m not the only one recognizing what a difficult proposition this is!  I didn’t have the time to do more than glance at some of them, but many articles shared the same heart:  Making Mom friends isn’t easy – but it’s necessary!  I encourage you to Google the topic on your own.

Many of the Googled articles discussed how to make friends with Moms with kids the same age as your own.   That’s all well and good – but I want to encourage you to make friends and connect with Moms of all generations.   A Mom with kiddos older than your own can have a wellspring of experience to share!  On the flip side – you can be the “Been There, Done That” wisdom and encouragement to a first-time Mom. 

As I am an admitted Facebook Fanatic – I took this conundrum to the masses and asked “What are your best suggestions to build connections with other women where you are?” and “What's the best/craziest way you've ever made a connection with other women?”  I received some awesome replies (three of these Moms are former members of our MOPS group):

Joy:  I have always done the if you want a friend be a friend approach. Just being available for others and not being afraid or too busy to invest in others. In times when I have felt isolated, I have prayed for God to put godly friends in my path and he has been faithful!

Sarah:  I belong to a Ten 4 Him group.  We meet every month and each of us puts in $10.  There are 10 of us, so we have $100.  Then we draw one of our names out of a bag, and whoever is drawn gets to give that $100 to whoever they are led to help that month.  Then the next meeting, they tell us who they gave it to, and how it came about, etc.  And we keep going…  it’s a lot of fun and we spend time eating, talking and praying together.

Michelle (who read Sarah’s reply and is now planning to start a Ten 4 Him in her neighborhood!):  The craziest thing is probably when I jumped out of my car when we lived in TX and did it again a few weeks ago here in FL.   

I wanted to find a woman in my neighborhood close to my age who walks fast enough but not too fast so I could walk and talk with someone and get acquainted with someone new. Tina, the walking buddy I found in TX, was walking along and I just got out and asked her if she wanted a walking buddy and we exchanged info. and soon started walking. It turned out, she's also a believer and was diagnosed later with ovarian cancer. She lived around the corner from me, but we never met before I met her that day and probably never would have. She has teen age daughters and was able to give me Godly advice during a pretty tumultuous time when I needed a friend and a great listener.

Jewel:  I loved MOPS for that but I am finding myself in a different stage of life now that I have moved to a new city and my last child went to school. I have been going to Bible study at our new church and we go to a small group. It is a start. I have made a few friends, not the deep kind yet. It takes time and prayer.

Kim:  One of the best ways to stay connected is to keep in contact with each other...email is great, Facebook is great, but every once in a while I send a note via snail mail to a friend I haven't see for a while.  I love to get a card in the mail and receiving one, "just because!" makes it even more special!

I have a very outgoing personality and so I am always talking to women...at the grocery store, at the doctors office, in my neighborhood, and after we first moved to our current home, I would always see a women who was about my age, named Tracie, walking her dog in the neighborhood and we would talk briefly.  Then she was pushing a stroller and she had adopted a son who was Alex's age!  One day I saw her on a walk and she said she was going to start a playgroup.  I have met so many neat girlfriends through this neighborhood playgroup and even though our kids are now in school, we still get together every Friday morning at Starbucks for coffee. 

Bottom line is, just saying a simple hello, might turn into a special friendship!

Fia:  When my kiddos were in pre-school, I sent out a note to all the parents in the class offering a sign-up for a play group.  Then, I’d plan an outing for the first Friday of the month.  Sometimes it would be a field trip to Deanna Rose or a kids friendly museum.  More often than not, we’d pack lunches and let the kiddos play at the park. Occasionally, we’d drop our kiddos off for class and then head out to get coffee and chat.

 If you’re not comfortable jumping out of your car to introduce yourself to someone or strike up a conversation with a stranger or ambitious (crazy) enough to start a full-fledged play group – and yet you still hunger for connection - I encourage you to take advantage of any opportunities you’re given to connect with another Mom such as attending the playdates and the Moms Night Out that are scheduled for the MOPS groups.  Share your e-mail and phone number with another Mom in the group. Rest assured that in this group, you’re surrounded by other Moms searching for the same.